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Add this book to a list You can add this book to any one of your lists. A research study published in the International Journal of Research studies in psychology published a qualitative study based on the points of view of those who believed their romantic partners to be narcissistic abusers. Self-esteem is a salient part of personality affecting the functioning of one's ego. Self-esteem includes the feelings of self-respect, self-appreciation, self-acceptance, and self-proficiency.
Furthermore,the desire for self-esteem from a fundamental need for psychological security, which is of the victims which is engendered by people's awareness of their own vulnerability and mortality Greenberg, " The stories of the victims seem to narcissistic abusers have issues in all these areas which then reflects in their behavior. Self-esteem is considered to be a core reason for their behaviors. Parent-child and any family relationship is based on the same principals of a narcissistic abuser.
The narcissist needs validation of self and feelings of power and control. Results of research show that misbehavior in their children, for example, may provoke them to physically make them believe the child's misbehavior is a direct rebuke of their authority. Research suggests that narcissistic abusers can and do climb the corporate ladder more readily and are to charm and gain trust from other co-workers and management to do so. One study even showed that managers had three times the rate of the disorder than the general population.
Lipman, Nathan Brooks , another researcher who studies psychopathy in the workplace notes, "Typically psychopaths create a lot of chaos and generally tend to play people off against each other It is about getting where they want in the company and having dominance over others. Narcissistic abusers charm others to climb up the ladder and undermine co-workers in various ways to push them down. They covertly sabotage others by unethical means.
They may even have these tendencies in their personal relationships outside of work. According to the Workplace Bullying Institute , harassment, intimidation, and covert coercion at work "is akin to domestic violence at work, where the abuser is on the payroll.source
Emotional Abuse: The Invisible Train Wreck | Women For One
Martha Stout estimates that 1 in 25 Americans are sociopaths, which is an alarmingly large number considering that many workplaces reward narcissistic and sociopathic traits. In "Confusion of Tongues Between Adults and the Child", Ferenczi observed that patients often displayed "a striking, almost helpless compliance and willingness to accept my interpretations" even if he encouraged them not to agree with him. He found that in cases of sexual abuse, children often misinterpreted the emotional responses of adults and responded to them by becoming passive toward the adult.
The child developed an "anxiety-fear-ridden identification" with the adult, as well as "introjection of the guilt feelings of the adult":. Ferenczi also argued that a child's tender love for a caretaker often involves a fantasy of "taking the role of mother to the adult".
In what he identified as the " terrorism of suffering ", the child has a "compulsion" to right the wrongs of the family by taking on responsibilities that are far beyond the child's maturity level. In this manner, "a mother complaining of her constant miseries can create a nurse for life out of her child, i.
A half-century later, in the wake of Kohut 's innovative pronouncement that the age of "normal narcissism" and normal narcissistic entitlement had arrived  — the age, that is, of the normative parental provision of narcissistic supply — the concept of its inverse appeared: narcissistic abuse.
Emotional Abuse: The Quiet Killer
According to Kohut, maternal misrecognition amounts to a failure to perform the narcissistic selfobject functions of "mirroring" Karen Horney had already independently highlighted the character disorder — particularly the compulsive striving for love and power — resulting from the childhood hurts bred of parental narcissism and abuse. She thus heralded today's work in this area by Alice Miller and others.
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Alice Miller lays special emphasis on the process of reproduction of narcissistic abuse, the idea that love relations and relations to children are repetitions  of previous narcissistic distortions. On the other hand, when i tried to tell her that her overtly flirting behavior with guys that literally posted that they wanted to have sex with her on her Facebook profile was very disrespectful to me and our relationship, I got brushed aside.
I was told I was overly sensitive, that I was stalking her, or that i was blowing things out of proportion. Not to mention all the times she was with another man, when we had a fight, which she convinced me was my doing, like it was my doing she started taking xanax again, and drinking and what not. Everything was my fault, it seemed. In the end I told myself that she was probably right, and agreed to not say anything more about any of it.
Probably more than than I should. I guess I just needed to write it down and get it out of my system. The effects have been utterly devistating to me. It resulted in me being sexually molested at a young age due to my inadequate self esteem. I am hopelessly addicted to nicotine, caffeine, marijuana, alcohol, and I would probably take anything honestly. I have not saved a penny in over 10 years.
My physical health is failing and I will not last much longer. Then he will have succeeded in what he has been working on- to kill me. I have firmly established that he is a terrible person and that he hates me. Death will come for everyone.. God, you sound similar to me. LOL I have two older brothers, both them and my parents do these things. I have suffered from severe depression and have had multiple suicide attempts and yet they do this knowing the possible out come. And yes any psychologist defends them and criticises me. I have had this occur and bullying in most jobs I have had and nearly every so called friend etc.
It makes you hate intensely, I have come to hate people and the world. And they wonder how and why people snap and go on rampages. We must understand this. You are loved. Please know this. Love your father silently and focus on yourself. This goes for anyone who you may feel you want that acceptance from. It starts with yourself, my friend. I too had a sexually abusive childhood.
This sort of past takes us on our Spiritual path of healing. It helped me a lot after my mom passed away and I hope it may help you as well, brother. Sending you and anyone else love and encouragement.
Thank you for this article. A little over a year ago I got so sick and my body became so riddled with pain that I nearly died. I went to every doctor and specialist out there and no one could find anything wrong with me that was visible after many many scans, MRI, blood work, even holistic Integrative Medicine. By the hand of God I was lead to look into mind-body illnesses.
It was through that process that I discovered the truth of my situation as I had to become very introspective. It has been a battle since then. I have asked him to leave for the second time. It has been nearly two months. I feel Stronger Everyday. As I try to interact with him over smaller things for our children I realize more and more what he does to me. I only discuss with him how he will spend time with the kids and when I have to do that I am very quick to get off of the phone and not share anything personal or engage in any real conversation.
Narcissistic emotional abuse nearly killed me. I was blind to it for 21 years. But I believe that I will heal. I will not only survive; I will Thrive. I cannot remember the author at the moment. But if you Google the book title you should easily be able to find it. I bought my copy from Amazon. Thank you for your articles; they are thoughtful and I can see and feel your sincerity.